If there were a canary in the coal mine for Bill C-63 it would be university/college justice tribunals Part 2 of 2.

Does saying "a satire" help ?

If you believe in the importance of free speech, subscribe to support uncensored, fearless writing—the more people who pay, the more time I can devote to this. Free speech matters. I am a university professor suspended because of a free speech issue, so I am not speaking from the bleachers. The button below takes you to that story if you like.

Please subscribe and get at least three pieces /essays per week with open comments. It’s $5 per month and less than $USD 4. I know everyone says hey, it’s just a cup of coffee (with me, not per day but just one per month), but if you’re like me, you go, “Hey, I only want so many cups of coffee!” I get it. I don’t subscribe to many here because I can’t afford it.

But I only ask that when you choose your coffee, please choose mine. Cheers.

_______________________________________________(Continued)

University and College human rights tribunals have created many dead canaries. I know of one myself who can’t bring himself to put his heart into teaching and leading a department anymore; it’s just too painful. 

I have been charged with ripping some kid’s shirt off in a fight in a class on a day that I was at home.  Staff members and faculty imply it happened (they heard it from the guy in the photocopier room, and that seals it); there are witnesses (the girl you helped unclog the paper recycling slot). After this, they move to more plausible bits of reporting, like the lizard people taking over Winnipeg. 

My departed lawyer gave me the marathon versus sprint lecture a few times. We’re more at a speed walking pace, slower than jogging, and we look like praying mantis’ arising from a deep slumber. And insects again remind you of Kafka, though that one was more cockroachy or dung beetleish.

I originally posted on LinkedIn that Hamas were Nazis and that I stood with Israel.  A JPEG of my post was juiced up to stoke the hate flames, and it began to percolate through the campus student, staff and faculty social networks. What could go wrong?

Then came out the multipurpose pejoratives; racist is always your go-to, but now pathologizing diversions from woke orthodoxy is hip, especially when all you do is jam a generic suffix on the back end, and there you go; you’re an Islamophobe, fits together better than Ikea.  But the name-calling stage curtain kept bobbing up and down, and now they have introduced a ‘violent threat.’

Reading about C-63 rings too close to home. You don’t need evidence; you need to be believed; 51% will do, probably the same average as most academic bureaucrats got on the elective, “Does Grass Feel Pain When Cut?” and who end up in the bowels of their work-from-home assignments, the ones where they make up titles, print business cards and then have a meeting a month later to figure out what the person should do.

College and university administrators should be very proud here. They’ve been doing this evidence-free justice for ages.

Section 87 of the new bill also says that the rules of evidence do not bind them.  Evidence and its old-fashioned cousin's reason are such old-school enlightenment thinking; what is it, 1700? And it just slows things down. 

As if Mrs Williams, who now heads up the Human Rights division and took an online course from LinkedIn Learning on how to read body language, isn’t way better at picking out the baddies than that boring old investigative, presumptive innocence time-wasting justice system? 

Do you know how parents cannot be told their kids' grades at university?  Yes, they can’t be told that their braindead child got 18% on their Organic Chemistry 101 test even after mummy spent $3500 getting the kid to a psychologist. The psychologist filled in a form that said their boy had TikTok-infected ADD and needed triple time to complete any test or assignments. 

But I have to defend myself against anonymous parents.  The HR department must have had a special coupon for guaranteed anonymity and no extra charge when you show up for ‘Slagging Saturdays’ at the human rights shack.  Of course, that’s silly. They would never work on a Saturday. 

Since anti-Zionist websites are promoting my picture (the same one wearing my one suit; I prefer the one with my dogs) and giving out contact information to facilitate easy breezy slander, users are a cut and paste away from contacting the Provost and telling them how they heard I kick puppies, especially minority puppies and how I killed JFK and was responsible for starting the plague in the middle ages. 

Come on, you say, you’re exaggerating; everyone knows JFK was a CIA hit.  

Allegations include me being a violent threat; I am guilty of the pre-crime of attacking students in my classes, and yes, my 59-year-old body that thinks three sets of stairs = credit for two ciders is a huge threat to 20-year-olds; I am accused of getting in a fight in class, even though I was at home, I am accused of evading firing with my Whil E. Coyote cleverness for five years (that one stings, after being considered by many students their best prof ever); a senior female administrator bragged to her staff three weeks before I even received charges that “I would be terminated.” 

Remember Carroll’s Queen of Hearts? What did she say, “Sentence first, verdict afterwards?”

Oh, did I mention that everyone who emails in their complaints has been granted anonymity? I’m a threat to people I don’t know, and the one I know isn’t teaching on this campus. But you can never be too safe.  

If you are looking for more irony, the university is playing the victim here, too, even though it’s 14:1 against me. Their letters, incoherent threatening rants from unhinged lawyers screaming defamation! (for articles I didn’t write), and other injuries are stacked up on my Ping-Pong table.

I added up the lawyers, HR people, administrators, actively involved students, and active accusers, and it’s 14 people who are focused on getting me fired and who, while doing that, are doing all their efforts on the taxpayer’s dime. 

I’m one person and not the sharpest knife in the drawer; my legal skills were gathered by watching old Law and Order episodes, not that new Toronto Law and Order crap. It’s so fake. Where are the police desperately telling people to leave their car running at Tim Hortons in case someone violent wants to steal it or sending in the SWAT team to make sure nobody vandalizes tampon machines in guys’ washrooms while still making sure police officer’s Depends don’t leak when protestors get mad at them because the coffee was dropped off late, the order wrong. Some of the brews had real sugar, not artificial stuff.

All the accusations are unlisted. I’ve figured out two, but the rest are a mystery; I have accusations that read precisely, “You contacted two females about this.” 

And I am kicked off campus because, with no, none, nada threat of violence, I am a threat to people I don’t know.  Ask my Krav Maga instructor if you want proof that I am not a physical threat.

I know what you’re saying; they have to have evidence.  

Not for the canaries in 2024 and everybody in the future with C-63. Everyone, including new students, staff, the union, my lawyer, random wonderful Jewish friends online, my wife, and me, say I’m going to be fired. My dogs, Toby and Malibu, want me fired. These two wonderful Westies hope their human dad stays canned in perpetuity. 

Yes, I am one staggering, up on one leg, teetering, little canary.

Flash forward to C-63 and its weak, toddler-powered evidentiary standards. Sounds familiar.

I was accused of Islamophobia when I didn’t mention Islam, race without race, violence see above, threats, but it doesn’t matter; it’s all about the balance of probabilities. If the person administering justice has 51% of their bias-free, revolutionary consciousness-possessing brain filled up with assumptions of guilt - then it’s over.

It doesn’t take much more than a pinkie on the scale to swing you off to enrolling in severance negotiation classes.  

Yes, that is the system.  So, if you get a little nervous when you speak, you cough, you have a bit of a shifty look or, more importantly, if your “investigator” doesn’t like you in the first place, you will be found guilty and terminated.  And they will try and invent cause and replace any money you made on suspension.  I calculated my losses if I am canned, 1.7 million CAD.  That includes pension, no work till my retirement at 70, and loss of royalties and other income streams. I will not starve; of course, many suffer far greater injustices.  

In his brilliant op-ed on C-63, Andrew Coyne (the second-best columnist in Canada; Ivison is at the top) notes that C-63's evidentiary rules are unlike our courts.  

So, if you read that long list of claims against me and you are going, it’s clear Substack must raise their quality, I mean, I heard about Nazis on here, but seriously, this guy seems like the devil himself.  

If you want to talk about C-63, talk to a dead university or college canary.  Don’t let their deaths be in vain.  What lies behind the plan is mostly hubris and denial.  The government that can’t keep Nazis out of Parliament, that can’t figure out Chinese spies were working in Winnipeg, that can’t even buy an app- how many failures will it take before they let themself be humbled and stop these dangerous reinventions of justice?

If you believe in the importance of free speech, subscribe to support uncensored, fearless writing—the more people who pay, the more time I can devote to this. Free speech matters. I am a university professor suspended because of a free speech issue, so I am not speaking from the bleachers. The button below takes you to that story if you like.

Please subscribe and get at least three pieces /essays per week with open comments. It’s $5 per month and less than $USD 4. I know everyone says hey, it’s just a cup of coffee (with me, not per day but just one per month), but if you’re like me, you go, “Hey, I only want so many cups of coffee!” I get it. I don’t subscribe to many here because I can’t afford it.

But I only ask that when you choose your coffee, please choose mine. Cheers.

_______________________________________________