Freshman Indoctrination & the Sorcery of Self-Pity

Where Labels Replace Logic, Flayers Pass for Pedagogy, and Everyone Gets a Trophy for Feeling Something

In early preparations for summer students, Keffiyeh University and Keffiyeh-Dundas College are now giving thinking/magic word toolkits as part of their Freshperson Welcome packs, in addition to free tampons for the men, and Adams Apple hiding keffiyehs for those who don’t have vaginas.  

A group of banned and shunned professors speaking from home complained that it is terrible at the university to have discussions replaced with a magic word exchange. They said that magic words eliminate the need to think, erasing the messiness of nuance and ensuring we are not burdened with peeling back layers of definitional bias, intentions versus reality, and underlying objectives.