News of the World - Liberal job creation program of digging holes, falling into them, blaming Harper and refilling them a huge success!
Not totally true, but pretty close.
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“Count on stupid vibe voters and short memories. Use the George Constanza opposite religion—dress it up in a nice suit and good vibes. This will win you an election in Canada.”
This morsel was found scrawled on the back of a three hundred dollar lunch receipt on the Prime Minister’s Press Plane.
Word in the press gallery says it looks like a bitter Justin Trudeau’s doing; the document was crusty with salty tears and broke in half when a triumphant Pierre Polilievre tried to wave it in front of a gaggle of CBC reporters.
He said that Justin Trudeau, tired of talking to his dog and deprived of the joy of being photographed waving happily to baggage handlers as he descended from his private plane, leaked the top-secret Liberal election strategy documents.
The leak reveals a campaign birthed by the Mark Carney Liberals, so bloated with unintended irony it could collapse under its hubris in the shallow end of the Rideau Canal.
This is from a gang that’s treated the economy like a rented mule and now pretends to be its loving owner.
A party that’s spent years digging economic craters, spraining the nation’s fiscal ankles, now swaggering forth with a pledge so audacious it’s almost admirable—“We’ll fix all the cock-ups we orchestrated, terribly sorry about the mess, but trust us, we’ve learned our lesson.”
The Liberal’s secret weapon has always been shamelessness.1
The Liberal party is like a raccoon that tore through your kitchen at 3 AM, knocked over the fridge, took a shit in the sink, set the curtains on fire, and then—after a quick change of fur—waltzed back in wearing a little bow tie, blaming it on Masha, the cat.
And Boomer voters go, “damn that Masha.”
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