If you believe in the importance of free speech, subscribe to support uncensored, fearless writing—the more people who pay, the more time I can devote to this. Free speech matters. I am a university professor suspended because of a free speech issue, so I am not speaking from the bleachers.
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The above statement is me trying to establish common ground with my inquisitors. It’s important to start a conversation with some point of agreement.
I am a free man. I live in Canada. I am allowed to condemn terrorists. If this hurts your feelings, buy tissues, hug your dog, watch the View or squeeze one of those frustration balls they used to sell at the dollar store. But stop bothering me.
The university staff and faculty, in my case, are like judges who let the murderer go free and prosecute the jaywalker; they are clueless that this might be perceived as demented.
Furthermore, when you have senior and junior admins who deliberately lie and accuse someone of criminal actions even after the said victim has been a good boy and gone to their bosses and said, “I am banned from campus, so could you tell our staff and faculty to stop accusing me of criminal assault when I didn’t do it and am 100% innocent - in this situation natural justice is being violated. It’s also insane, and yes, this is all done with the consent of a major public University, the University of Guelph.
But as usual - in 2024 - people can’t say no; they waffle or whine; in my case, I got an “I’m really busy.” So, the defamation metastasised and spread until a student told me that he was surprised; the entire student body now believes that I was a violent racist - yes because I called Hamas Nazis.
The ‘professionals’ refused to confront the specific staff member that I know (there were others I will never discover), VB, even though I had five people contact me and tell me that she was pulling people aside and ripping through four essential lies that have caused me many sleepless nights, lost friends and significant anxiety.
But one can’t always attribute to malice what you can attribute to incompetence - the great powers were probably “working from home,” which meant unloading their cart at Costco and, even then - emailing anything more substantive than, “If you have special meal requirements for the faculty lunch, please let us know” would have pushed them emotionally beyond their limits.
So, where are we at? Our self-proclaimed morally superior professionals let defamation float through the university community, ruining reputations, and then somehow still sadly convince themselves they have done no wrong and are still up to prattling on and making us cringe at their pretensions of moral legitimacy.
I asked -“ You are making threats, so by what authority and policy are you doing so?”
No response.
Their superpower is unmitigated gall. Furthermore, if words still have meaning - they are not professionals. Being a professional means you have a professional designation, but it doesn’t mean you think highly of your job, new shoes, or yourself.
A dentist would be a professional; an engineer would be; my wife is a medical specialist and a professional; radiology techs are not professionals; my dogs are not, and nor am I - two masters (an MBA and MA) are not professional designations - even if they are from real schools and not degrees in sustainability from the school that specialises in conferring credentials when upon normal people hearing of the said credential they say, as famously noted in the movie Office Space, so what exactly is it that you do?
For those who have read my posts here, a fair number of my posts—I am trying to avoid bitterness and obsession—deal with my being suspended from the University of Guelph-Humber for hurting the feelings of the Vice Provost and her Palestinian Professor friend, Wael Ramadan (a journalist discovered the name; I betray no confidence).
The bad guys are winning, the ones who allow some unhinged executive with a long track record and a history of making academic workplaces toxic to use hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars for her vendetta. I am her number two in two years; the other guy is still recovering. He says I was smart to pursue therapy and wishes he had.
Talk about amateur hour. There is no due process, nobody reads their documents, their policies are wikis with open access, and it took six people to manage some years ago to change my banking information for payroll. Six people. But the powers that be sent all their Human Resources staff to work from home, and they can’t figure out why the department is a disaster.
This group decided it was a good idea to put a function on some college app that generates fake phone calls to get students out of uncomfortable situations. How about standing up to people or saying I need to pee, but a group of adults - pause for a minute - a group of adults thought that 21-year-olds needed fake phone calls to help them escape sticky social situations. God lord. I heard someone say 18 was the new 12.
This same group, which cannot even change banking information without involving the senior HR manager, has decided that phone calls and in-person meetings are bad; everything must be done via email.
But if you rely on email, you have no real communication or relationship building; you open yourself up to creating a disengaged, fractured organisation.
But the lawyer said.
And these are the same people who seem to have never read their free speech policy. I’m not going to lose my job to anti-semitism and malice alone; a lot of it will just be because decision makers, living case studies of the Peter Principle, don’t have the critical thinking ability to participate in a serious conversation.
The bad guys are winning.
Nine months now.
I toss the word Kafkesque as if I read Kafka; I write with humour and defiance. But it’s a bit fake.
According to the university, I am not allowed to write this. I am utterly banned from my community for 13 years. On the day I was suspended, staff and faculty—whether organised or organic—began a defamation campaign against me.
Tens of thousands have received digital posts calling for my termination.
When I write, I try to avoid discussion of crushing depression and betrayal to present my best side of defiance and resistance. Today, I am slipping up.
When the university began accusing me of criminal acts and when they denigrated my entire academic career - the one thing in life I have liked and thought I was good at - I had great reviews, published five texts, worked for publishers on other projects, enjoyed being the “chill” prof and having a good rapport with students - I downgraded their moral credibility to the bond rating of North Korea.
It meant nothing. Nothing. Not a damn thing.
It was like I had fallen asleep on the best water air mattress at the beach, confident that it would retain its inflation, and now discovered I had floated out to sea and a storm was coming.
(The post is from a staff member trying to persuade a student of my crimes. The top part refers to my fictional bothering of “brothers.” The bottom is her repeating the “Verdict first, and then we will announce the charges and give you some due process theatre, " told by an inside source; she is the cool, hip justice model for my Human Rights Tribunal at my Uni. Undoubtedly, the department was trained by ‘professionals’ who, I think, perhaps read a magazine article or saw a billboard on human rights. Yes, I am being sarcastic. Or is it satire, whatever it is?
Because I equated Nazis with Hamas and said I stood with Israel, I was banished (old school Roman style) and received regular threats from the institution, which - by my calculations - has spent about $500K (but Canadian dollars, don’t worry) on lawyers and double payment on teaching contracts they have been arm twisted into paying me.
And that’s government money, and we have people lining up at food banks. What a waste.
I am not a real academic (they write in journals that nobody reads), and I couldn’t create a proper sample group or do a real analysis if my life depended on it; I am a lecturer.
However, I kept current, wrote my material, engaged students, and believed in learning, not just the academic process and the optics of academic classroom gear turning. I’ve written four textbooks and co-authored another.
On the day I was suspended, it seemed an unnamed senior administrator (top academic) bragged to staff that I would be terminated. It’s quite obvious who she is, and she is also the Human Rights Claimaint and the decider of my employment; she can and has promised to sack me.
But the union said, “So what is the problem?”
The VP, not the fence post, signed the Claim along with the Palestinian professor who declared war on me; it has resulted in tens of thousands of digital appeals for my termination. While my biggest tweet got three retweets, their post got 650.
Yes, this is all because I called Hamas Nazis.
But I have been accused of criminal assault (of course, there is no video for non-events, no actual reporting to the police; just dangle it out there and let it do its magic!) And other pure lies.
Lies in a community where you are cut off are extremely powerful, and my reputation is destroyed. Everyone says sue, but the real world intervenes, and it’s hard to fight a big corp, and it’s re-traumatizing.
My last hope was a fair investigation, but I found out the report has no real influence; it’s no more than a cover for management’s whims, and management seems to hate Jews. I’m not Jewish, but I am a Zionist. The discouragement: But I am still a ZIonist and think I will visit Israel soon.
Even though I say to myself, “Take heart, this will open up new pathways, etc.,” I still long for my classroom; the investigator’s questions and implied accusations drive me mad and discourage me.
Reason and prayer were my only weapons; the former was not in their toolkit. I’m unarmed. And faith sometimes slips.
My accuser, who has posted hundreds of anti-semitic posts (attached) and has two Human Rights Complaints against him (no action taken) - has now led the school to ask me about him.
Did I file an HRC against him for retribution? Huh? Is there some Jewish type notary that can put a “this is real anti-semitism” on his posts, or is it their latest inference revolving around implied accusations that I faked his posts (public record?) or that they aren’t anti-semitic (Jewish people making clothing from Gentile skin isn’t anti-Semitic)?
I am being asked to produce all correspondence I have had with Jewish organisations (no, sorry, I have my limits).
I feel, in Canada, that I am living in a world of utter madness. Do I have to report Jew contact now?
Of course, I refuse; I may be a broken, crazy mess, but I have my limits. I am the Black Knight of academia.
I have lost faith in weak-tie relationships (could colleagues and friends have said, is this rumour about you true, or are you okay)?
I have lost faith in humanity. Only ordinary Jewish folks have stood up for me, relatives, long-time friends, next to nothing; if, when you are in crisis, it means your true friends come out. Ouch.
And I have discovered you can’t fight lies when banned (I am at risk of a 10K fine CAD if I go on campus to get something from my office).
You can’t fight lies; Twain said that while the truth is getting its boots on, the lie is halfway around the earth. He probably never said that, as most famous quotes are lies, but it still works for me.
But when my last hope asks me whether I faked posts (as if I knew how - I have trouble turning off my phone) and my inquisitors have no concept of free speech, I am crushed by discouragement.
Even though depression, sleeplessness (could I go to bed before 4 AM?), and PTSD were diagnosed, and this is considered a workplace injury, I refuse to give them the respect that this is due process and a professional organisation.
I fight on, the injured, like Monty Python’s Black Knight who says, “But I will bleed on them” - but that last request implied I made up someone else’s posts. Wow.
(As if I know how to remove watermarks)
It has crushed me; the room for hope has all the space of a 1950s bathroom stall. I wasn’t alive then, but I think they may have been small as we weren’t the porkers we are now.
And the decider, the judge, who is a friend of the accusor, has sworn in print twice to terminate me.
Not fire, sack, but terminate. What a world. Of course, many face more, but such a comparison is a freeway to more depression; this is good enough for me, thanks.
They are cutting my courses and playing games, but I still get a little money. However, money is not the issue. Even the useless anti-semitic and being sued for such unions agree. They are my legal reps. They have refused to meet once. Email is their thing. I hate email.
Betrayal, shock, how corporations can be so cruel, how gossip and lies caused friends to cross the street when they see me are the real pain - these are the issues.
The therapists help a little; they create footpegs for me to climb out of this crushing sense of futility, but I can’t find them right now; they were washed away in the storms of the Inquisition.
Some people are not strong in crisis; two family deaths had exhausted my reserves, I do not have anything left to face such betrayal; I am a criminal because I called Hamas Nazis to a stranger in Pakistan. Okay, I get it.
After all, the stranger I responded to wanted to exterminate Israel, and that meant killing my friends who lived there. For me killing my friends and a nation is a proposal that pisses me off. That’s the American version of pissed. It also means drunk in Canada. I am sober. Do not argue with me, please.
Sorry for not being calm. I once did meditation but was a poor student.
No, after hearing calls for extermination, I decided it was not a time for polite exchange.
I regret nothing.
This picture was taken outside my university. My dogs had just been kicked out of school - even as they were being punted, a lady walked by me holding her Yorkie. Note the prison uniforms. We have this in common: we have both been kicked off campus, but they don’t have a 10K fine if they return. But, in my defence, I did not shit on the carpet in the middle of class like Malibu (right) did. She was cool with it. She ran out of class and onto an elevator during my lecture. I guess she was bored, or perhaps the shit on the carpet was her form of editorial review. )
The no regrets comment isn’t true; I regret how this has affected my relationship with my son, one friend, my faith in God and my relationship with my wife. All I want to do is hide in my man cave with dogs. I love my dogs.
My friends don’t get it, and I am not myself anymore.
And forget any pretence that this inquisition deserves any more respect than one of those trials where if the witch, after being drowned, re-surfaced, she was innocent and if she stayed under, she was deemed guilty. Did I reverse that? It seems she would be dead both ways.
Am I alone in feeling the world has gone utterly mad?
If you believe in the importance of free speech, subscribe to support uncensored, fearless writing—the more people who pay, the more time I can devote to this. Free speech matters. I am a university professor suspended because of a free speech issue, so I am not speaking from the bleachers.
Please subscribe and get at least three pieces /essays per week with open comments. It’s $5 per month and less than $USD 4. I know everyone says hey, it’s just a cup of coffee (with me, not per day but just one per month), but if you’re like me, you go, “Hey, I only want so many cups of coffee!” I get it. I don’t subscribe to many here because I can’t afford it.
But I only ask that when you choose your coffee, please choose mine. Cheers.
I am SO sorry about the fallout you are having to endure for defending Israel and the Jewish community, Paul. Do you know the word ‘shonda’? It is Yiddish for ‘scandalously shameful’. It is a shonda the way your univerisity and your union have cancelled you. I hate it that depression has to be inevitable under circumstances like yours. I’m sure you know that 90% of the Jews in the world are experiencing some of what you have endured, and any of them who know of your courage are both grateful for your support and admiring of your endurance. It is a difficult time for all of us and especially difficult for you, but I admire the way you have used AI to create images for these posts. I admire your honesty about what you are going through. I admire your ability nto reach out and find community when deprived of the one you had. Hang in there, Paul. We are all rooting for you!
I don't imagine there is anything I say to improve your mood. Maybe just knowing a fellow dog lover who lost his best buddy Winston a few weeks ago sympathizes with your angst and mostly reads your posts. I'd be lying if I said I read them all, but you've been lied to enough. You stood up for what is right and against hate. My Hungarian grandfather with whom I grew up in a small apartment in Brooklyn was a religious Jew, always poor, a tailor by trade. What he taught me about mitzvahs, good deeds, remains with me. He taught me G-d sees all that we do but not to expect any rewards in this world or the next for doing good deeds. He said the deed itself is its own reward, even if it doesn't feel so at the time. It taught me to live within myself and not feel need to gain approval from others. If it comes, so be it, if not, even better.
I am SO sorry about the fallout you are having to endure for defending Israel and the Jewish community, Paul. Do you know the word ‘shonda’? It is Yiddish for ‘scandalously shameful’. It is a shonda the way your univerisity and your union have cancelled you. I hate it that depression has to be inevitable under circumstances like yours. I’m sure you know that 90% of the Jews in the world are experiencing some of what you have endured, and any of them who know of your courage are both grateful for your support and admiring of your endurance. It is a difficult time for all of us and especially difficult for you, but I admire the way you have used AI to create images for these posts. I admire your honesty about what you are going through. I admire your ability nto reach out and find community when deprived of the one you had. Hang in there, Paul. We are all rooting for you!
I don't imagine there is anything I say to improve your mood. Maybe just knowing a fellow dog lover who lost his best buddy Winston a few weeks ago sympathizes with your angst and mostly reads your posts. I'd be lying if I said I read them all, but you've been lied to enough. You stood up for what is right and against hate. My Hungarian grandfather with whom I grew up in a small apartment in Brooklyn was a religious Jew, always poor, a tailor by trade. What he taught me about mitzvahs, good deeds, remains with me. He taught me G-d sees all that we do but not to expect any rewards in this world or the next for doing good deeds. He said the deed itself is its own reward, even if it doesn't feel so at the time. It taught me to live within myself and not feel need to gain approval from others. If it comes, so be it, if not, even better.